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Posted: February 7, 2017 in nature poems

Tonight at http://dversepoets.com/this-is-us/ De has at work in the bar ~ we have a list of drinking related words and have to work them into a poem that has nothing to do with drinking!

Swallows like shots line up
on a wire. Stirred by an air

in which warmth is failing.
Autumn is biting into

the year and this
is the last call.

A trio lift off, three sheets
to the wind. Gathered up

they pour down the throat
of a retreating summer.

barn_swallows_wires_overberg_western_cape_south_africa_201211041

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Comments
  1. It feels so far away for a retreating summer… love those swallows.

  2. Glenn Buttkus says:

    Your last wo lines are killer–kudos for sticking to the 33 word parameter. I was drawn into your Orwellian poem from two days ago–great minds drawn into similar veins.

  3. brilliant the on the prompt and an added pour down the throat too…wonderful.

  4. Bev says:

    Beautifully drawn using the requested terms in 33 words! Applause from my corner.

  5. * says:

    I love the first three lines and the last three.

  6. Sanaa Rizvi says:

    Totally rocked it! 😀

  7. frankhubeny says:

    Nice way of describing those birds on the wires as shots lined up and then have them pour down the throat of summer at the end.

  8. Waltermarks says:

    You know, those birds almost look like sheet music. I know it’s silly. I like the last shot before Winter. I feel just like fhem, when the cold winds hit, I look for a sunny spot, thanks

  9. kanzensakura says:

    I love how you stuck to the 33 words and gave us such a vision of summer, swallows, and swallows down the throat.

  10. Truedessa says:

    It is cold here and birds are always keeping warm on the wires. Clever use of swallows.

  11. sMiLes.. reminds me
    of the ‘youngsters’ all
    lined up playing a
    game of
    Quarters at
    the metro bar
    D A N C E haLL
    bouncing coins
    into beer
    cups
    getting
    sloshed
    and wandering
    out of the bar in oblivion..
    ah.. rather a dance of moonlight
    sKin than drink that steals away continuing bliss..;)

  12. Miss Stacy says:

    love the way you played with these words. found myself reading this twice.

  13. lillian says:

    Swallows…pour down the throat of retreating summer —- LOVE thus! When you put the first word at the end, instead of the pronoun, it really shows how clever this is!!

  14. magpieboy says:

    Great poem. Very evocative. I agree with Lillian the end stanza is superb.

  15. wolfsrosebud says:

    And I thought it couldn’t be discribed

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