The storm

Posted: May 31, 2012 in nature poems, Poetry

Tonight at dversepoets Sam has laid down an interesting fun challenge. Write a structured poem, but produce it in free verse. This is a Tanka form (five line nature poem with 5 syllables, 7, 5, 7, 7) .. but ‘chopped’ up into free verse of course!

Black rags
on the breeze, crows taking their chance
as gales
lash the trees.

Scumbling clouds drag
meshed rain
across fields.

A lone hill farm
holds

its breath.

 

Advertisements
Comments
  1. Laurie Kolp says:

    You create such a vivid image in my mind with the crows, rain and farm… I especially like this-

    Scumbling clouds drag
    meshed rain
    across fields.

  2. st3v3piper says:

    Totally feel this one, nice.

  3. brian miller says:

    cool man…you set the scene well and nice presonification of the house in the end…storms can be pretty awesome things for sure…and you even taught me a new word today too…

  4. Nice feel to this one Paul. Love that word; scumbling. Vivid write!
    http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/05/31/dreams-like-that/

  5. hiroshimem says:

    Wonderful. I love the way it gradually slows down. And your last stanza is brilliant: You even let us hold our breaths between the lines. Great job.

  6. seingraham says:

    I’m not going to be very original here but I love the “scumbling” too and doing this as a tanka torn into free verse was inspired …

    http://nsaynne.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/when-you-are-leaving-me/

  7. breath taking description of an approaching storm and the aprehension it brings. Whatever the storm represents. I loved the hill’s reaction.

  8. I really enjoyed this. It’s interesting how the altered line breaks open up the form and give attention to different aspects than the standard composition would. Very nice.

  9. Love how you took the tanka, and introduced the linebreaks at exactly the right emotional punch points. A great read!

  10. claudia says:

    i held my breath as well…you paint a tight picture with a few strokes…nice..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s